Always Remember to Stretch Before Performing Nightly Horny Acrobatics
by Nate-kun
Summary: In which Calem tries to get some at like three in the morning.-Kalosshipping, fluff, bite me.


**Oh man, can you imagine getting private message after private message from dozens of denizens wanting me to continue writing more and more about these two until the day I die? Because that's what things have been like recently. I guess the hundreds of fangirls gawking at my material simply can't stand the sight of Serena whoring herself out to men that are more or less a decade older than her. Hint, hint.**

**Rarely do I let people down in cases like these, so let's just jump in already.**

**Remember, if you truly want to see more of what I have to offer-in this case the continuing exploits of the whipped and the whipper-go ahead and review. It doesn't matter what you say, how you say, or how long is it. As long as you place a review, it'll help better motivate me to jumpstart this train again. Why? Simple, reviews let me know that you're reading this when you should be doing productive stuff, and that you most likely want more.**

**Word Count: 1466 words.**

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Always Remember to Stretch Before Performing Nightly Horny Acrobatics

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The position in which Serena undertakes whenever she's asleep is more or less reminiscent of the cocoon cycle of a common-day Weedle. That is to say, she wraps herself in a bundle of blankets every night with the express intention of not letting go until daylight breaks. It's a pleasant way to stay cozy, if anything.

As far as Calem and his prodding sense of humor is concerned, she's just as venomous as any old Weedle all the same.

Tonight however, marks the sudden end of the comforting streak in that cycle, plagued to a bitter demise by the most likely suspect. Not that Serena is aware of any of that.

Because she's not.

It's about three in the morning, everyone and everything in Vaniville with a beating heart is asleep except for the needless hordes of Kricketots singing their hearts out for no real reason other to annoy people, a Kricketune no doubt conducting such a travesty to the world of symphony.

"_Hn..._"

Serena is asleep in her room, as if she'd be anywhere else at this time of night. The ignorant, unsophisticated cries of the unsynchronized crickets outside are enough to put a dent in her nerves, and she'd definitely do something about had it not been for the fact that it would be the third time this week.

It's endless and unstoppable, that's the moral that she ended up dealing with.

The girl clings to her blankets tightly while letting out light, gentle breaths. It's a much-loved change in dynamic from the days of the past, in which an asshole to her immediate left would always jump like a Lillipup at any given opportunity to yank the covers and turn her into a living icicle.

Serena's not sure whether to classify it as a good thing or bad thing that this habit stopped well before she could punch that asshole's face in for good. In fact, she cringes just thinking about it, the mere mental imaging of his stupid face and how moderately average it is, she can only berate herself for even contemplating.

_Speaking of assholes._

A minuscule, pint-sized clink savagely attacks her bedside window, resulting in a traumatic tragedy so abrupt and violent that it immediately spooks off all nearby wildlife in the area, fortunately including the ensemble of insipid singing crickets.

Serena irks slightly from the sudden minor distraction, although she doesn't fully awake nor open her eyes. The girl can't confirm whether what she's just heard is genuine, or a result of just not getting enough asleep.

Whatever the case may be, she personally hopes for the latter, and drifts back to sleep with that conclusion.

That is, until another blitzing clink strikes her window with a bombarding blast, this one being louder and bigger than the previous. The noise that it emits is quick, but enough to scare off a few dozing Fletchlings to safer, greener pastures.

Irritated and slowly becoming more conscious, Serena furrows her brows. She can only continue to hope that something's awry with the inner-machinations of her mind and that that's causing her to be delusional.

Serena makes a damn good attempt to return to a peaceful slumber, but her efforts are in vain. For her, only two strikes are needed to be out instead of three, and those two have already occurred. A siesta seems to be out of reach for her, regardless of whether or not she's with the absolute shittiest boy in the universe.

Finally, she slowly peeps open one of her dreary, tired eyes. This is followed by the other, and in no time she finds herself staring at the ceiling in completely monotony.

She is interrupted mid-sigh by a third cling, which tackles her window while also earning the award of being being both the biggest and the loudest one yet. To the point where its description would better fit with the word 'clang' then 'clink'.

By this point she knows that she's not imagining things, the jolting shock that surges through her body is enough to confirm that. It's just a matter of whether or not she wants to engage in conflict with it now.

_'One more. Just one more. I'm going to give him one more time to-'_

**_Clink._**

With that, she's wide awake, sitting up, and raising her window at the speed of a thousand suns. And just as a fourth pebble strikes her nose, she shouts into the darkness of the night at the highest intensity possible (but still somehow low enough that it doesn't wake up anyone's parents).

"**_What the hell do you want!?_**"

"Oh, hey! You're awake!"

From the second story window next door, Calem beams at her with an absolutely adorable all-loving smile, his obliviousness to her tantrum and the cheeky grin on his face only serves to fuel the ire fire burning inside of Serena.

His hair, no longer covered by a red hat, is all ruffled up and sticking out with cowlicks and hair boners as far as the eye can see. Loose light blue sleepwear clings to his skin, and in spite of the bags under his eyes, he seems completely benevolent with being up this late.

"**_Of course I'm awake, you woke me up! You have a lot of nerve screwing with me right now, do you have any idea what time it is!?_**"

Admittedly, he doesn't.

Calem cocks his head to the side, "Well, uh, no, does it matter? Anyways, I couldn't sleep so I figured I'd see if you were still up, and gee, you are!"

The girl rests her head on her windowsill, hands raking her head, "Because you keep throwing rocks at my window, jackass."

"How else was I supposed to know if you were awake?" the naivety, the subtle smug undertones, the way his hair cutely frames his face.

His mug is a mug that she could punch all day long.

Still biting his bait, she retorts, "By waiting until morning like _normal _people, but I guess that was just too much for creeps like you."

He flamboyantly waves his hand about, "Uh, aloha!" he says with a savvy click of his tongue, "How am I supposed to snuggle overnight with you if I come see you in the morning?"

Her answer comes in a heartbeat.

"**_You don't._**"

"But what if-!"

"You won't wake up in time."

"And while that _**is** _true, I picked up an alarm clock to-

"You are the furthest thing from the definition of quiet, you'll never be able to sneak out."

"But I've been practicing how to tiptoe and-"

"**_My mom is going to beat you to death and then some. And I'll probably join in too._**"

Serena finds that the biggest problem with Calem is that he never knows when to give up, it's as if the definition of limit doesn't exist in his mind. If he has a goal, and he hasn't achieved it yet, it's pretty likely that he'll go to any and all lengths to get it off of his bucket list.

"That's alright, I'm sure she'll understand if I just explain it to her."

_'What the hell is he going to explain to her? "Ne ne, I'm so sorry for sleeping with your daughter!" Disgusti-.'_

Serena's thoughts are interrupted as her eyes catch Calem trying to do something that only horny idiots his age would ever think of doing, "W-What the?! Get down from there, what the hell are you doing!?"

Calem starts popping the bones on his knuckles,now sitting on the windowsill, a moment's nudge from falling two stories into the ground, "I'm going to jump from my window to yours, then do it again to get back home in the morning. Your mom won't see me sneak out because I wouldn't even have to leave your room-"

"**_Are you mad!?_**"

He looks at her entirely blank faced, as if there's nothing wrong with what he's about to do, "No. I'm just bored, tired, and I want to see you, what's so wrong about that?"

It's things like the tail end of _that _that beg to question what Serena really thinks about this supposed dumbass. A query made further evident by her looking around to see if anyone's watching them.

After the coast is clear, following two rounds of shifting eyes, Serena drones out a sigh and curses herself for letting it get this far, "Fine! Jump over here if you think you can do it, but I'm not responsible if you snap your neck on the gate below."

Raising his hands in the air, the boy doesn't hesitate to leap with the utmost of serene joy.

"Whoo! I get to get some toni-**_Oh god, I undershot my jump, quick, catch me!_**"

"Ugh, you dumb shit, hang on! Grab my hand!"


End file.
